Monday
i have converted 2 people to buying macs.
congratulations brian and jeevan. you're offically hipper and cooler.
...but not by much :)
congratulations brian and jeevan. you're offically hipper and cooler.
...but not by much :)
05 Jan 2004: 11.41pm
new tan. new interests. new hairstyle. new year.
spent the new year partying with kel, kim, jen, sean..and i noticed jack wasnt around.
not during xmas. not during new year.
i found out they broke up after seeing her in the arms of another guy, snogging.
hmmm i feel bad for mr charming. i really do. this must probably be her shortest rship so far. a rebound most definitely.
oh my. i'm starting to feel really bad for him. i mean. he was NICE. he was one of the rare guys that she and i could agree on. i mean. look at the rest of the guys she went out with (plus the one she's with).. kel's got a bit of the eclectic taste in men. i dunnoe what she sees in them. and now that she got herself a hottie, ( with brains! and a sense of humour!-- very rare find!) she drops him....ah well. it's her love life yeah
well wakeboarding was a cool thing to take up. ha. got an opportunity to have fun with cute hunks ahhaa. i think i must really ask kel to take up wakeboarding. look at the guys she's missing out on.! grin. maybe i should ask jack too. he did mention once that he was interested in water sports!. hmmm could be a great idea to bring them back.
kel will be smitten by his glorious tan-and body. and i 'm sure he hasnt forgotten abt her...
that's it. my mission: to get both kel and jack to join me in wakeboarding!
Thursday
- 01st Jan 2004 -
- 02:40 am -
the new year came and went.. so did kel. we finally broke up, and as such my new year's was spent with just a small group of my friends at a bar in a hotel.
she finally told me the truth , that i was just another rebound guy and that she's met another person. i didnt want to press her for details so im just gonna leave it at that. breakups are always painful, no matter how much you prepare yourself for it. its knowing that all that you hoped for and believed in isnt true. now that's really painful.
today i smoked my first cigarette too. two loooong drags and my head spun. after that my throat felt really raspy and i crashed - felt really sleepy. i wont ever smoke again. it sucks man. i dont know how people can do it for relaxation. fired off a coupla messages to my friends but i doubt they'll get their SMSes in time.. so all in all, another fucked new year.
only my 1998-1999 and my 2002-2003 new year's celebrations were great. the rest are all fucked.
as for resolutions? i cant be arsed either way. i always break them, so why bother.
happy new year? nah. its just a new year.
Saturday
20th Dec 2003: 5.45pm
i just got back from a trip in thailand..had a great time there..
i went with a couple of my designer frens... coz kel didnt couldnt find a time to leave the ctry..
had the best beach weather there! sunny, cloudless...lotsa sand and sea.. i wouldnt mind being stranded there fo a while. grin.
all the days being spent in the water.. swimming, kayaking, snorkling, on the speedboat..made me realise how much i love the outdoors, and the sea. i'm seriously gonna start thinking about taking up some exciting water sport.. hmm i was thinking of wake boarding.. sounds like fun yeah.. really tempting to do the stunts and all too.. either that or it'll be diving i suppose? hmm..
shall ask kel if she wants to join me..i havent gotten to speak to her much since i got back yest... she came to pick me up.. but left as soon as we reached home....
maybe she went to meet mr charming.. opps. i mean Jack. haha.. hmm i hope so... coz she hasnt really been talking abt him much..
Monday
- 08th Dec 2003 -
- 10:05 pm -
it's been quite a long time since i've met kelly.. its werid. i met her friends the other time almost a month ago for one of her friend's birthday parties and ever since then, kel didnt seem too hot on asking me out anymore.
at one moment, i caught one of kel's friend giving the both of us (kelly and i) a werid look. could she know something i dont? maybe i should ask her about it...
been to the beach recently. and my group of friends have come up with something new. we call it the Try Something New programme - in which every weekend we would try do so something different, rather thn hanging out in town ALL THE TIME. so far, we've been to the beach, and to a theme park. we're planning to go kite flying next!
a little bit about the theme park visit. i took rides that i never thought i would take. peer pressure really is a powerful force. *grin* but of course, i wont ever smoke or do drugs...
maybe kelly and i arent meant to be together.
Friday
27 nov 2003: 11pm
i got a glance of "are u hot?" recently..dunno how they eliminate the pple . do they just judge them by their looks? or their charisma? or is it the way they carry themselves? how abt their clothes??
hmmm these pple really have guts. and very thick skin. some of them look so bimbotic..the girls that is..& the guys..some look kinda gay..HMMM look at me. i dun have a great bod to start with. so maybe i shouldnt diss them on flaunting their well toned bodies..haha. but really..it's really just another flesh parade ....similar to beauty pagents.?. maybe less intellectual.... Even the contestants for Ms world or Ms Universe are required to answer some qns related to politics or the enviroment..- or anything more important than "what shade of lipstick matches the colour of my pants?"
well, they've got great bods, and they love flaunting it.. i guess pple enjoy watching that kind of confidence too. doesnt turn me on anyways.
ah well. i was channel surfing when i got to that show. watched a little. got disgusted and channel surfed again. y can't there be shows like buffy or friends or Who's line is it anyway. i would be happy laughing at their antics.
kel's doing her yoga and i'm bored. sometimes i practise yoga with her. somedays i'm lazy. most days i'm jus lazy. so here i am. blogging away my thoughts.
come to think abt it. Y is kel at home?
she's usually out with what's-his-name..right. jack.. she's supposed to be out with him. y isnt she?
brb while i go take a peek at her face.
back. nops. no signs of her being emo. from what i can rem. she has been home early for the past week. y isnt she out with jack?.and i realise she hasnt really been talking abt him...strange.. coz she was super OTT about him being the ONE... hmmm well maybe they are too busy for each other now?? yeah.. i'm probably too sensitive.
another cause of worry>y am i always so bothered abt my fren's rships anyways..? hmm shouldnt i be worrying abt MY own rships.?. well if i even had one in the first place. grin.
back to doodling.
Thursday
18 nov 2003: 03.45pm
i finally turned 23. am i supposed to be really happy? i have no idea..
but i did have a great celebration at marche.
with kel, jen, kim, sean. and guess who showed up?
MR CHARMING.
i had a good time interrogating him. ha. guess he prob didnt like it..but he didnt show it.. so yay. grin. i had expected him not to get along with me. i never really could get along with most of kel's bfs. they were usually too snobby or too idiotic. some too dumb. sometimes i wondered what kel saw in those guys really.
But hey! Mr Charming... wait. what was his name.. right. Jack... yeah i have start calling him Jack. he was a good sport. it didnt take long for him to click with us.. so I guess kel made a right choice this time.
jack and kel.. they make a good looking pair. but strange enough, i felt something was wrong btwn the two of them. no one else seemed to notice it.. mayeb coz everyone was having fun, dining, chatting.. and the two of them didnt show it either. but somehow. i could sense something. i couldnt fathom what it was either... hmmm .
Monday
- 017th Nov 2003 -
- 8:00 pm -
"hey.. what are you doing tonight?"
"nothing really.. i dont feel like going out though, i've got some mixing to do"
so thus, i am spending monday night alone. with my computer. placing the finishing touches on my track that im currently mixing. just a little hobby.. a creative outlet. i was wondering what's the fuss about DJ-ing all about, so i downloaded a copy of a program that turned my PC into a mixing console. Download a few samples after that, and im off creating my own tunes. I have 3 so far.
things on the kel front. i picked her up for dinner on sunday, and only did i realise that she doesnt stay with her family. so i must've mistaken the girl who answered the phone for her sister.. when i pointed it out to kel, she laughed.
"oh you mean rae?"
"um.. yes rae."
"she's my flatmate.. we knew each other since jc."
"i thought she was your sister"
then kel perked up, "so you're the sad voiced guy who called!". "sad voiced?" i frowned, puzzled. "yup! rae said she got a call from a guy looking for yours truly, and that he sounded kinda sad." "haha, i think it was me definately"
"so why did you sound so blue?"
my mind slipped a few gears while trying to come to terms with that question. should i answer her truthfully and speak my mind? or create a ficticious account as to why i was broody?
"nothing much, just had a tough day at work." i wussed out.
"hey, you should meet my friends some day."
"huh? do i have to?"
"yeah of course you have to," kel said, mimicking my pleading tone. "i dont want everybody to keep guessing as to WHO im dating now."
"well.. sure, when?"
"tomorrow's good.. as it so happens, rae's birthday is on tomorrow and we're going to marche for dinner. all my friends will be there, so PLEASE...behave"
now that got me.. "Behave"? what am i? on show here? i started to resent meeting up with her friends. but in reality, isn't that what's going on when you first meet your date's friends. they're definately gonna judge you. and they'll be all nice and stuff, but in the background, they're dissecting. and god knows what conclusions they'll draw up after meeting me for a coupla hours.
apart from feeling uncomfortable about it, im beginning to feel like kel's showing me off. i dont sense the connection i thought we once had. a facade? probably.. i have a funny feeling meeting her friends isnt such a good idea.
i gunned the throttle and sped up. tomorrow can wait, for now, we're late for our reservation.
Saturday
15 nov 2003: 4.26 pm
some guy called up to find kel the other day. but he won't leave his name. strange. i jus realised i havent got a chance to ask kel yet..hmm right. i'm sure i'd be able to describe his voice to her. ah well. i'm sure she'd knoe who he is. it might even be MR charming. he sounded kinda sad tho.
went jogging with kel just now.. ( y didnt i ask her abt the guy? hmm must have slipped my oh-so-forgetful-mind.) yeah feels so good to be exercising.
the beads of perspiration.. messy hair.. what a sight. haha but still. i feel good. and not to mention, the healthy pink glow on my face! muahah. i'm glad i can still keep up with kel.. she's one fit girl..well she better be.. she's a yoga instructor!grin..
exercising is destressing. and boy do i need destressing.
gonna do more jogging with kel whenever i can. who knows, i might be able to check out a few eye candies on the way!
*i am not boy crazy thankyou very much. i just need to perk up my life a little.*
ok. gonna do some sit ups now.
blog later.
Friday
13 Nov 2003 :11.45pm
went suntanning with kel, jen and kim two days ago..
finally got to spend a day with them proper!
glad i could relax on the beach with the girls.
sadly. no hunks were spotted. *damn*
just a few kiddos running around.
fooled around with my lomo cam, and i must say..i felt so much like a child playing with that cam-which was good.. i mean...who doesnt want to feel young again.... well then again.. it's not like i'm really old..
i just graduated from school a year ago.. and i could just parallel the working world to living hell, really.
hmmm.. well there are fun bits.. but mostly.. it's living hell.
so. yes. it was good to feel young and like i was having fun....
haha.. and i must say the pics turned out really good too! this new toy i got for myself is bringing in the smiles! woohoo..
i was just thinking.. i think it's time for me get a guy in my life.
i've been single for like forever. and well.. it's swell not having a guy in my life.. the perks of singlehood..no commitments, freedom...whoopee!
but then again....pple get lonely.
i am lonely. esp now that kel has mr charming.. muahaha.
she's the sweetest person i knoe around and i really want the best for her.. so i'm
actually really glad she found her guy ( or at least she said he was THE ONE)
i may not want to meet him.. but i'm still really glad for her. really.
hmmm. and then i'm still lonely.
haha.
i think i need eye candies to perk my mundane life up. to inspire me to work. ha... that sounds pathetic .. hhaa..
the best part is. where can i find them? hmm.
gonna keep my eyes open. *smirk*
Wednesday
- 012th Nov 2003 -
- 9:09 pm -
continuing on that train of thought... could i be delluded that kelly is The One? simply because she was the Convenient one?
in other words, do i always head into a relationship of convenience - statisfied with a girl who's just willing to go with me? i mean, the last 2 relationships i had, was the equivalent of a flash-in-a-pan, rather than a slow burning flame. mainly i suspect i have this idea of a perfect partner of mine, which just.. fits. and if the girl i am currently dating doesnt *click* with effortless ease, means she's not the one for me.
simply put, i believe that if we're meant together, we dont have to work to make a relationship work. and if i have to keep guessing at kelly's intentions.. perhaps she's not as hyped up as i have lead myself to believe.
- 012th Nov 2003 -
- 9:05 pm -
it's about damn time somebody recognized the effort i placed into my work. for the fifth straight day i've stayed back till 9pm, and needless to say, kelly isn't very pleased with my newfound working hours.
kelly kelly kelly. she is such a quandary. one moment she's totally passionate about our relationship, and the next, it seems like she'd rather be single and swinging again. what am i to do? i wouldnt really wanna talk to her about this as it might make ME seem needy.. and i figured.. i figured i should take a wait and see approach.
funny.. it used to be me who wanted to keep my girls on their toes by alternating between interest and non-interest. the world is round as it seems.
kill bill was a great movie.. caught it with kel, sans her friends. felt like we were dating again, fresh in the first bloom of love, cuddling with her in the theatre whilst uma thurman sliced and diced through an onslaught of samurai warriors. not a very romantic setting, but then again, kel and i arent exactly your run-of-the-mill couple.
i tried calling her up, asking if she was free to meet up after i wrapped things up at work, but nobody answered her mobile... tried her at home and her sister told me she wasnt in. so where could she be? this is an example of her "cold" phase towards me. just my luck. guys get girlfriends who have pms. i get a girl who's got pms AND an acute chilly disposition.
so i rang soon up, asking if he wanted to meet me for a round of drinks at wala's, a watering-hole at holland which has a live band performing nightly. he'd just landed a job at a publishing firm and didnt seem quite happy with his job. major complaint? lack of attractive female colleagues.
he seemed quite keen on hitting the pub. more, i suspect, to check out the chicks who frequent wala's, than the prospect of meeting up with me.
is it kelly i am missing? or am i just missing having someone to have a relationship with?
Thursday
6 nov 2003: 2.30 am
i feel so bad.
kelly practically begged me to go watch Kill Bill with her and mr Charming..
i promised... but as usual.. my boss had to give me extra work to complete.
DAMMIT.
well not that i really wanna see him-MR Charming.
i'm more interested in watching KILL BILL!
damn i had to miss the action.
one of these days.. my job is probably gonna kill me.
pardon me. i love my job. i'm a designer in this small design firm.
and i mean small. that's y i do almost everything. ha.
but still. i'm passionate abt design. that drives me.
but i DO NOT love staying up for long hours everynight.
or do i?
argh. i'm beginning to feel like a workaholic.
everytime i have an appointment with my frens.. my boss has to spoil my plans.
is he out to ruin my social life or something??
sheeez
kinda reminds me of my school days when i always stayed up to do my work.
my parents screamed their heads off at me.. now that i'm working..they realise it's inevitable. ( y didnt anyone tell them before that it's normal ??)..
now i dun get my parents breathing down my neck.
I get KEL.
she- the yoga trainer who's always telling me i should lead a more healthy lifestyle.. sleep early. and most importantly, under kelly's friendship pact ( which she created out of boredom in our school days.. i'm surprised she still rems it.. she only uses it against me now..argh)...to be there when she needs me. bleh.
i hope she isnt too upset.. she's probably used to it really...my job doesnt allow me to have a lot of other plans sometimes.. and i think she's grown accustomed to it...
i think i better go back to work. i need coffee.
damn the coffee machine is out of order.
i have the best of luck really.
Tuesday
- 05th Nov 2003 -
- 11:30 am -
this issue with kelly... i think its pretty much ironed out. she came over to my place last night, i guess the whole wine-and-dine routine never fails. she seems a little eager to get me on the bed though. perhaps making up for lost time.
i should be so lucky.
she's gonna watch a movie tonight. Kill Bill. thing is, i've already downloaded the movie at home, but haven't really gotten down to watching it.. what's more, she's calling her friends along, and im afraid this will slowly lead to meeting more friends, meeting her parents, and before i know it, we'd be in a r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p..
some part of me just tells me to go ahead anyway. maybe i might discover something about myself?
work today is stacking up. Quek, my immediate superior, is being a prick as usual, with his (impotent) threats of impending deadlines. what he doesnt know is i've been scouting the papers for job opportunities elsewhere.. maybe do some freelance consultating work.
in case i didnt mention, i work as a copywriter in one of the lesser known advertising agencies in town. we specialize in small time business (read: we arent renowed enough to draw the big fish, so we have to constantly eke a megre profit from small high-tech startups in singapore)
i have a movie tonight to look forward to. i hope her friends are sociable. there's nothing worse than going out with a bunch of people you dont know and having that dead air of awkwardness. i dont mind being the quiet one, just as long as the group is boisterous. i love observing people
time to go for my lunch break. finally. i think i shall try fish mcdippers today. or should i just have something healthy like bread. i just hit the gym yesterday, and i dont want to waste the 2 painful (but, sadistically pleasurable) hours in 30mins of corporate lunch.
i have this feeling i'll be getting copywriter's block later this afternoon, so i made a mental note to self to look out for magazines to sneak a read after lunch in the office, Quek's assigments be damned.
- 04th Nov 2003-
- 9:30 pm -
"are you sure you wanna do this"
"yes.."
"i mean, you aren't gonna freak out the next morning over this are you?"
"no i wont... come on, let's get on with it.."
"mmm.."
"m...."
Saturday
1st nov 2003: 1pm
i'm suffering from a heavy head and really aching feet right now.
all from last night's halloween party at zouk.
mega packed.
i was in this old pajamas of mine, shredded and embellished with fake blood. ha
i dunnoe how i could look all scary with that but i didnt really care.
kel was supposed to come along with me.. along with the rest
but no.. she wanted to go out with Mr Charming.
-to walk around the esplanade or something.
bleh. so it was just me, jen, kim and sean.
out to party the night away!. heh
i guess i had lotsa fun.
except when i started to realise i was dancing alone.
what an embarrasing thought. hah
well, kim and sean-the ever loving couple-went off to dance together, leaving me with jen.. adn after a while. i sorta noticed she became more interested in dancing with this "vampire" than me. ok he looked kinda cute. but then again. everyone looks good in the dark.
so there i was, dancing alone.
for a moment i thought i actually saw kel. some girl who had so much fake blood on her face, i couldnt really tell actually. but her mannerisms just caught my eye i suppose.
and then some idiot came up to me and started poking me. with this plastic ice-pick
he had as a prop for his "scream" outfit..
what an ass.
i wanted to grab that ice-pick away and use it strangle him.
HA. that would have been fun.
and then i remembered it was halloween, and everyone was there to have fun.
so i ended up dancing with Mr Ice-pick. hoho.
i surprise myself sometimes really.
anyways i thought it was cool i couldnt see his face., i didn't have to look at him either. he had the moves, so that was what mattered. smirk.
well Mr Ice-pick eventually left me to dance with Ms Bloody-face.
ha. so miserable me was alone again.
i seriously have to figure out y i'm always left alone. sheez
feeling a little upset, i grabbed jen away from her Count Dracula to go drink with me.. i think i was really quite grateful she didn't yell at me for doing so.
hmm if i remember correctly, she actually pulled him along to go drinking with us.
sweet.
i dun rem what happened next really..
the next thing i knew, i was back in bed. waking up with a throbbing headache.
i must have drank a hell lot, considering my resistance to alcohol is pretty high.
hell. i feel like throwing up again.
